I've always toyed with the idea of a testimony. It's just always seemed like a thing of the future. It was one of those times where whenever I thought about it, I'd just push it off to the side thinking things like, "my story isn't developed enough to have a testimony" or "I don't know Jesus well enough to have a testimony." But here I am, writing my testimony.
I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home, with loving parents who guided me into the church from a young age. In the small church that I grew up in, I didn't get to know very many other Christian people my age. We moved to a slightly bigger church but even there, I didn't get to know very many Christians who were my age. I ended up in a bad spot. All of my friends at school called themselves atheists, and none of my friends at church were my age. I was lost, I didn't know what my faith was and I didn't know who I should believe. I am a very others oriented person, also known as a people pleaser. I didn't want to tell my atheist friends that I was a Christian but I also didn't want to be an atheist, because I knew in my soul that Jesus is real. I ended up just pushing God away. I knew that He was there, but I was in no place to have a relationship with Him.
It took me a couple years to come to terms with the fact that I didn't know what my faith looked like any more. I was baptized when I was 8, I made that decision to follow Jesus years before the rest of my life caught up with me. I had been, and still was, attending Sunday school every Sunday. I had so much knowledge of the Bible that was just stored in my head, but I had no idea what to do with it. It was all in my head, none of it was getting to my heart. When I was in grade 6, my mom took the step for me and contacted another local church about their youth group. It was then, through this youth group that I met some of my best friends, and where my faith was strengthened.
I don't think you understand what you're missing when you try to do faith without community until you find your community. Once I found my community, I was able to live out my faith surrounded by others doing the same. Even when you're young (I was only 11 at the time), having friends who believe the same things as you is important. In that time, I began to understand that faith is hard on its own, but without community, faith feels impossible.
So I'm here, over 7 years later, standing firm in my faith. Although my community looks very different now than it did then, I still have a whole community running alongside me. Trust me, over the years there have been trials. There have been days where I truly didn't think that I could be Christian anymore. But through it all, I have learned that without community, faith is impossible, and without faith, life is impossible.
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