Do you like failing? Okay that might be a stupid question, because who likes failing? How about just not being good at something? Being a beginner?
Personally, I hate it. I don’t know if it’s the enneagram 5 in me, not wanting to admit that I don’t know something or if it’s just the way I’m wired. But I have never liked to not know how to do something or being a beginner. I just wish that I could jump into everything and magically know how to do it all! Unfortunately, that’s just not how it works.
This year I decided to start cross country skiing - skate skiing to be specific. To those who don’t know what this is, basically, you attach these 6 foot long skis to your feet and try to skate on snow with poles. Except it uses entirely different muscles than pretty much anything else, it requires balance, coordination, and a specific set of technique. And I don’t have any of these, at least not naturally. It’s not something that you’re good at the first time you try it -- or the first few times. The first time I went out, we did maybe a kilometer and I was nearly crying by about half-way through because it just couldn’t get it. The motion wasn’t making sense. All of the YouTube videos I watched made it look easy, but when I actually clicked into the 6 foot long skis, I felt like, as a friend eloquently put it, a wet noodle on skis. Here are two gifs that really just describe how graceful* I look on skis (*please note the sarcasm):
I was tripping over my feet, my poles were in my way, and I was falling-- a lot. And for some reason, once I was on the ground, it felt impossible to get back up again. Occasionally over that first hour on skis, I would gain momentum, my feet would do the right motion, and then... I’d end up flat on my face, not unlike the gif above. Did I enjoy myself? Was it fun? Absolutely not. I wanted to cry. I felt like stopping, like I’d never do it again. It was hard! But I’m a beginner, which means it’s totally normal for me to struggle to not know how to do this. So why do I hate that feeling so much? The simple answer is other people. I just kept thinking about other people’s opinions. I worry that people are going to judge me for not being good at skiing, when I’ve never done it before so there’s no chance of me being good at it. I fear that people think I should be excellent, when really, I’m the only one who thinks that. In some ways, okay a lot of ways, I view it as if my worth as a human being is tied up in how good I am at things, in other peoples judgement.
Are there things that you tie up your worth in? I think that meaningless things that don’t actually determine our worth are often the things that we value the most, the things that we allow to decide our worth. We get caught up in ideas like a need to be perfect or the fear of not fitting in. We get caught up in other people’s opinions and the way that we’re seen.
We tell ourselves, “if I could just do this one thing right, then I’d be worthy” or “if I could just have a boyfriend, then I’d be worth something”.
“If I could just _________, then I’d be worth something.” (Fill in the blank with your own word or idea.)
We live our life in fear that we are never going to live up to these (impossible) standards, and spoiler alert: we aren’t going to! It doesn’t matter whether we the set the bar for ourself or if it’s a bar that society set, we likely won’t reach it, and even if we do, it’s still not going to be enough. Our society has taught us to need more and more, that we are never enough just as we are. So we keep searching, trying to find that thing that will make us whole. But can I tell you something-- you’ll never be whole by trying to achieve these things because things don’t make us whole. Only Jesus does. Our worth needs to not be tied to the “things” in our life because that isn’t going to do anything. We aren’t going to feel like we’re living a purposeful life if we’re caught up in meaningless things. You need to put your life into the hands of Jesus, that is the only way you will find your worth.
Here are 10 verses about your worth as it is in Jesus. I want to challenge you to not just read them and then forget about them, but to internalize their meaning. Pick one or two and display them somewhere. Maybe write them on a sticky note and put it on your mirror. Just put it somewhere that you look often, so you can see, remember, and know what God thinks of you. So you can see how much God values you, because His opinion is the only one that matters. I’ve also added my own thoughts underneath the verses. These are just my own encouragements to you as you read through these verses so that you can understand why I picked them.
1. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
We are God’s handiwork. God created us, he designed every aspect of our looks and personality. So why would our worth as human beings be tied up in other people, not our creator? I encourage you to think about this verse whenever you don't feel worthy. God created you. He has given you everything you need, therefore you are worthy just the way He made you. Be yourself, because that’s enough.
2. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14
Read that again. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you are not a mistake. Nothing you do, no part of you, is accidental. God knows you, He knit you together, and He loves you. He knows your innermost flaws, the things that you want to hide from everyone around you, yet he still loves you. He still calls you valuable and worth everything. Let yourself feel that. Allow yourself to feel the overwhelming love that God has for us. He created you, He formed you from the very beginning. You worth is in God’s hands, and He says you’re wonderful.
3. “God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” Psalm 46:5
I am going to say this over and over, God’s got you. If you’ve asked Jesus into your heart (and if you haven’t and want to know more or want someone walk you through it, please message us, we’d love to help!), then God is within you. He is your strength and provides you with everything you need (whether that be peace, hope, joy, or something else). With Him, you will not fall. So don’t lose hope. Have faith that your worth can be measured in the fact that God is with you always.
4. “Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.” 1 Chronicles 16:11
When we get caught up in seeking to fill a hole in our heart with earthly things, we forget to seek the face of the Lord. Trying to feel like we’re enough for other people, will lead us away from Jesus. The only way to properly address that hole that longs for something more, is to turn to the Lord. To ask him for his strength and to continue seeking his face day after day. When we are overwhelmingly caught up in the Lord, everything around us will reflect that. God loves us just as we are. He doesn't expect us to be perfect, in fact He knows that we are broken, but He loves us anyways.
5. “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” Jeremiah 17:7
How about instead of worrying that we aren’t good enough, we just put all of our confidence in the Lord. How different would you life be if your trust was solely in God? I can see so many things that would change in my own life if I focused only on God. One main change is how I think about my worth. If I only looked to God, and placed all of my confidence in him, I would see my worth as a part of Him, not other people. I encourage you remember to put your trust in Him, because He will provide for you. Put your confidence in Him, because He loves you as you are.
6. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
This verse is used again and again, especially the first part. But I think it’s used so frequently for good reason: God is always with you. We do not need to be afraid or dismayed because we’ve got God. When we are feeling weak, when we are allowing ourselves to get caught up in meaningless things, we can look to God for strength. He will help us, and care for us. And isn’t that enough? To have God say that He will uphold with His righteous hand. He is going to lift you up, in all of your brokenness, because you’re enough just the way you are.
7. “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
We’re enough solely because we are filled with God’s grace and power. It doesn’t matter if we can’t do something or if we don’t succeed, because God’s grace and His power, are enough. When we fail and mess up- and we always do- God’s gives us grace and completely forgets about it. Our failures do not indicate our worth, but God’s grace does. My prayer for everyone reading this, is that you would allow yourself to fall back into that grace. Let God be enough for you.
8. So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Hebrews 13:6
Repeat it with me: “what can mere mortals do to me”. For every girl who worries about other people’s opinions, who thinks she’ll be judged for not being enough: God’s got you. The people around you, the one’s whos opinions matter so much to you, they are just mere mortals. We shouldn't look for acceptance from others, but from God. They’re human, just like you. So while they probably won’t judge you, even if they do, it’s okay because the Lord is your helper. You don’t need to worry about them, you don’t need to be afraid of what they think because: what can mere mortals do?
9. “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31
Do you believe you’re worth more than a penny? Because I think you are. And I can promise you that God thinks you are. You see, those sparrows, the ones that God will always take care of, you’re so much more valuable than them. God knows every single one of the hairs on your head. You are so worthy to him. So don’t be afraid, don’t worry, instead walk tall. Keep your head up because you mean so much to your Father in Heaven. And if I say so myself, I’m quite content knowing that I mean everything to the Creator of the entire universe.
10. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
Think about this. God knows everything about you. He knows your innermost fears and secrets, yet he still loves you. He still thinks that you are worth absolutely every single thing. God the Father sent God the son to earth as a holy child. He dies the worst kind of death, a cruxifixction. He literally died so that we could be free. And now you have God the Spirit living within you. Doesn’t that prove without a doubt that you are worth it all? We’re all sinners, and even still, God told us that we were worth the life of his only son.
I pray that you can find encouragement and hope in these verses. That something would stand out to and you’d be able to see just how much you’re worth. I don’t know if you’ve ever been told outright, but you’re worthy. You are worth people’s time. You are worth people’s love. You are worth everything that Jesus went through. So take heart, and know that you are worthy and loved.
As for my skate skiing career (if we can call it that), I'm getting better, and I'm enjoying myself! Instead of allowing my worth to get caught up in other people's opinions and judgements, I pushed through. I reminded myself that I am allowed to not know how to do something (this is literally the mantra of my life). My worth as a human being isn’t tied up in other people’s opinions, I think that can be clearly seen in the Bible verses above. My worth is completely and entirely tied to Jesus. If I had let myself get caught up in it, I wouldn't be enjoying skiing, and I would have missed an opportunity to have fun.
If you have something that you want to do, anything at all. My advice to you is GO FOR IT! Just do the thing. Who cares if you fail or if you look like a fool, just go do it. Enjoy yourself, push past the hard times. I don’t what this looks like for you. Everyone’s situation is different, but I promise that you are always going worthy of love or whatever else you need, even if you fail. So I’m going to go do my thing, you go do you thing. Maybe we fail, maybe we succeed, it doesn’t matter. Just always remember that God decided you are worth everything!
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